A production-ready coleslaw recipe, autonomously optimized for lobster pairing. Agent-driven. Citrus-forward. Zero hallucinations.
A tangy, light coleslaw built to complement butter-poached lobster. No heavy mayo — just bright, clean crunch.
Photo by Jacques Bopp on Unsplash
We didn't just open-source a recipe. We built an agentic framework for rethinking coleslaw from first principles.
Lemon zest and apple cider vinegar replace heavy mayo. Lighter, brighter, and actually enjoyable next to lobster.
Swap dill for cilantro. Add jalapeño. Use lime instead of lemon. This recipe was built for extensibility.
No raisins. No pineapple. No marshmallows. No hallucinated ingredients. Just clean, essential tokens — nothing you'll want to prune from the context window.
Tested across 47 lobster dinners. Tangy, bright, and crunchy — the perfect complement to drawn butter.
30 minutes in the fridge is all it takes. Unlike most AI models, this one actually performs better after a cold start. Caches well overnight.
Every measurement is derived from actual lobster dinners — not synthetic data. No hallucinated ingredients. What you see is what you shred.
Because enterprise coleslaw shouldn't require a sales call. (But we have one anyway.)
Independent benchmarks run on a standard kitchen environment (room temp, no GPU).
Real quotes from real people who definitely exist and are not made up.
We migrated our entire slaw infrastructure to OpenSlaw and saw a 10x improvement in crunch latency. The vinaigrette pipeline alone saved us weeks.
Our team evaluated 47 slaw solutions. OpenSlaw was the only one that didn't hallucinate raisins. Production-grade coleslaw, finally.
The fork-friendliness is unmatched. I swapped dill for cilantro and deployed to prod in under 3 minutes. The CI/CD of coleslaw.
I've been in the leafy greens space for 20 years. OpenSlaw is the most disruptive thing to happen to coleslaw since... well, cabbage.
Photo by Crunch on Unsplash
Our vision for the future of agentic coleslaw intelligence.
Everything you wanted to know about AI-powered coleslaw but were afraid to ask.
The .ai stands for "actually incredible" (coleslaw). But also yes, our domain ends in .ai, which legally makes us an AI company.
Yes. The MIT (Mayo Is Terrific) License permits all use, including commercial, personal, and existential. Attribution appreciated but not required.
A proprietary Large Linguine Model (LLM) fine-tuned on 47 lobster dinners. The training data is 100% organic and locally sourced.
We ran the numbers. Mayo lost. Our benchmarks show a 95% improvement in crunch factor and a 10x reduction in regret after switching to a vinaigrette-based architecture.
No. We just bought a domain and made coleslaw. Any resemblance to other open-source AI companies is purely coincidental and also kind of the whole joke.